Let me paint you a picture...

...of how my grocery trips have been lately.

I arrive at the store, unload my boys from the car and walk inside to get a shopping cart. Jason sits in the front of the cart, while Jack sits in the big basket portion of it. All starts out well, but 5 minutes into the trip, and as the cart begins to fill up with food, Jason maneuvers himself around to face the food (even though I tighten the buckle as tight as I can possibly get it) and claws at all the food. Yes, claws. Jack never fails to be amused by this and laughs and enjoys toying with Jason's desire to get the food and teases him with different packages of cheese and cereal and such. This would be a minor annoyance, except for the fact that the more I shop, the more food that piles into the cart, piling higher and higher for young Jason to finally reach it.

Now, about half-way through my trip, I'm fighting a losing battle trying to keep the food from Jason while focusing on what type of cereal to buy. You may wonder why I care that Jason holds any of the packages. It's because, and there really is no other way to put this, my baby is a goat. He literally eats the cardboard off the nutrigrain bar boxes, and tears thru plastic packaging. Nothing is safe. And then Jack steals the coveted food item from Jason's hands, leaving Jason in tears and Jack in giggles and Mommy in exasperated sighs.

Now remember, Jack is in the basket portion of the cart, so as the food gets piled in, Jack gets piled under. Yes, under the food. One trip about 2 weeks ago, I was on my last aisle of the trip before I realized only his shoulders and head were above the food. But honestly, Jack getting piled under the food is the least of my worries. Two days ago, while close to the finish of the shopping trip, I threw a package of egg noodles into the basket. Jason picked it up and threw it right back out. I picked it up from the floor and placed it in the back of the cart, farther away from the goat-baby's hands. Jason stood up and reached, grabbing the pasta and again throwing it to the floor. Now, you'll probably think me a simpleton this time around, but I again put the pasta package in the back of the cart, only for Jason to grab it again and try to eat it....and then throw it out of the cart. For some reason, he had it out for that bag of pasta! This time I put the pasta in care of Jack and distracted Jason with a nilla wafer.

It's at this point that I hurry as fast as I can to the check-out line, after all, it's extremely tiring trying to shop and double-check that all the food stays in the basket and isn't chewed up by the goat Jason.  I start checking out, loading the food onto the conveyer belt. With a sense of relief, I grab the bag of pasta that Jason had it in for...only for pasta noodles to fall all over the floor. Yes, Jason the goat won that round. He chewed thru the packaging, making my attempts to save the pasta futile. Luckily, the staff was willing to run and grab another bag of pasta for me, much to the disdain of Jason I'm sure. And that's about it- I'm walking out to the car relieved and happy that the mini-nightmare is over. And as I open the car's trunk to load the groceries, I see the big double stroller sitting in there. Ever try to wedge a package of diapers in the crevices of a folded stroller? Can't wait 'til next week!